Send Happy Thoughts...
Hi all. Sad, gray day here. We're at Rusk now - it 's the rehabilitative facility. Dr. Magill nailed it. He said that Lincoln is depressed. He is. He felt that he couldn't complain so he's been keeping everything inside. For those of you that know Lincoln you know that he doesn't complain. He's so sad and listless, I would like to say despondent but that sounds so melodramatic, but I think that might be the correct word. Andy is here now, thank God, because I don't think I can do this by myself. This part is so much harder than the day of the surgery. He has to stay healthy because if he gets a fever that means we go back to the pediatric ward and then possibly a spinal tap. He has lost the use of his left arm and hand. He's having a hard time adjusting to this, but he won't talk about it. I am so glad that Andy is here. Please pray for our big guy.
Oh, Steph, so sorry to hear that Lincoln is depressed. I guess if you think about it, makes perfect sense that he would be. Now that you have a “diagnosis” you can focus on what you need to do to help him. I have no doubt that both you and Andy, along with all his care givers will gather all the strength you need to pull him through; just as you have been from day one. This is just a curve in the road to recovery. Will be praying for him and sending happy thoughts each and every day. Love you!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry! Many happy vibes headed your way!
ReplyDeleteLots of prayers being sent your way
ReplyDeletePrayers continue for the big man. And for all of you.
ReplyDeleteHe has conquered so many odds, and he will conquer this one as well. He is remarkable. He needs time to digest what is ahead of him, but from what we have all witnessed, he will take the bull by the horns and (can't beleive I am going to write this but...) make lemonaide out of lemons. He is going to accomplish great things, and everything you are going through will be a distant past. Easier said now, look how far you have already come. Head up, chest out, you can do it.
ReplyDeleteLove always,
Patti
Awwwww, SO sorry to hear that today is a rough one in this journey. If you don't mind, I would like to recommend a book - maybe you could read it to Lincoln and it would help a bit. The book is a journal of a girl (a bit older then Lincoln but still young and going through alot) that I worked with who was battling a really tough disease. There aren't exact parallels here but perhaps some of her sentiments will help. The book is called "Amazing Amanda My Journey through Mito". Her daily mottos were B+ (be positive) and FROG (Forever rely on God). Maybe with tons of support from his amazing parents, some counseling and hearing some inspirational messages, our strong and beautiful Lincoln will perk back up!!! Love, prayers and positive energy is being sent your way.
ReplyDelete<3 (<---that's my heart) Denise
Hey Steph, your family is always in my thoughts and prayers. Pass along Carl Jung's words, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." Also, there's a new book by Carl Hiaasen called Scat. A boy named Nick's father loses his right arm in Iraq, so Nick binds his arm to his body so they can learn to be lefty's together. It's for kids ages 9-12, but you might find some inspiration in it. Much love to you all, RMP
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear he is feeling low - although, as I'm sure you know, it is not unexpected, under the circumstances. You guys are such an inspiration and strength to him - just know that that alone will help him so much to get through this. I'm going to briefly slip into psychologist mode (I actually did my training in Pediatric Psychology at KKI/Johns Hopkins, working with a lot of kids like Lincoln, who underwent some pretty heavy-duty procedures), and I second the previous poster's recommendations to tap into counseling services; most all pediatric rehab places have psychologists/interns/fellows (often in the Behavioral Psychology Dept.) to assist with supporting kids and their families through the rehab process. They typically work closely with the Child Life Dept. and other specializations (OT/PT/Medical/Speech/Neuropsych, etc.) to maximize progress, minimize trauma, and enhance coping, during what can often be a challenging process. Don't be afraid to ask about and/or request these services. If, for some reason, you can't/don't get it there, I know of an excellent pediatric psychologist (she was actually a former supervisor of mine during my training) who is in the NY area - I think at Blythedale Children's Hospital - but I believe she also has a private practice as well. Andy can email me if you guys are interested in getting her contact info. Hope that is a bit helpful. Regardless, I continue to send positive energy up your way and know that each day, despite appearances, continues to be a huge step in the right direction.
ReplyDelete- Gina
So sorry to hear that its been such a rough day. But in the little time that I've been lucky to know Lincoln, I know that deep down he is a strong cookie. He will get through this; just need to take one day at a time. I'm sure his beautiful smile will appear again soon. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMs. DeFoe
Even thou its expected it sucks Andy do you have the music you two love it may help . We all need to have a pity party at times before we can move on. You are all remarkle and we are praying for you all.
ReplyDeleteDear Friends--I am in tears to think that with all Lincoln has gone through, he is so very weary and forlorn. I pray that just having you Steph and Andy with him through this long day, and resting his spirit--he can --and he will-prevail. I have seen him fall, and in one breath say"I'm alright!" before he's even up again. This surgery was a HUGE event for him mentally,physically, and spiritually--and for all of you... He will get up-just not so fast this time--and he will soon say, "I'm alright!"
ReplyDeletePlease tell Lincoln I love him, and I continue to be so proud of his courage and strength.
Fondly, Jan.
He will get through this! he is a very strong boy, if he does not want to talk to anyone maybe a friend can help. If you think that it will help, maybe he would want to talk to Joseph. We are just a phone call away! Maybe even talking over the phone to something or somebody outside of everything that he has been through may help!
ReplyDeleteMy darling grandson, sometimes it helps when I'm feeling depressed or yucky to write things on paper.One word is often enough. Then have mom or dad make an airplane out of the paper & let it fly away.Also you could write down the things you want to do when you come home. I drew a huge smiley face & put you pic. next to it & that makes me smile. Here comes a trillion smiley faces your way my love.
ReplyDeleteStephanie, having been through what I have the past year, I can only say, don't give up on him, and I know you won't. Being as young as Lincoln, I can only imagine how he's feeling. But I can tell you from experience just how easy it is to fall into that BIG place called depression. It was hard for me too. But focusing on getting home, my friends and my pets helped. Something to look forward to, that's what it's all about. He'll come around, he's strong. All the best. Pete & Denise
ReplyDeleteThat Lincoln is depressed is absolutely normal, and I was about to write some loving and wonderful words of advice from my social work/loss and grief perspective, but, lots of terrific people have beaten me to it, and what words of wisdom! You can bet that once the sun comes out, so will Lincoln's smile, as will all of yours. I am certain of that.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and very best wishes to everyone.
Love,
Holly
Sweetheart, remember Momma B telling you that sometimes even big grandmas like me get depressed and have to tell someone what is bothering me. It helps so much to just talk. Tell someone you trust whatever you want, how you feel and how at this moment your life just sucks. It will help you to let it out. I wish MacBeth were there with you or Candy because I know how much you like to tell them all the things on your mind. Call Candy she will be there listening to whatever you want to say. And you know whatelse, just cry.
ReplyDeleteIt washes away all those icky feeling you have now and when you have cried all your fears and angers away you will feel so much better. If you want to yell, just yell and scream. But please just talk your heart out and watch, it will work and you will in no time be saying "I'm alright" and our SUPERHERO will be himself again.
Momma B and Poppa T are praying for you every minute of every day and you are forever in our thoughts, AND WE CANNOT WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK HOME TO US. WE MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. XOXO (Peppy,Louie,Trixie,Java & Budweiser say hello too and say for you to get home soon). XOXOXO
I know that whenever i get depressed or anything that is similar i keep it in as well. Most of the time thinking it is a bother to let someone else know the problems im having when they have their own life to deal with. But the more it has happened the more i realize that you do need to just get it out sometimes and it literally makes it feel like the world has been lifted off your shoulders. I still sometimes have a hard time talking to ppl so i write, in a journal when ever i feel like i just need to get all these thoughts out of my head i put them on paper. Its really a release and maybe it will help. You are strong and we all are here for you no matter how far away :)
ReplyDeleteI Love You Lincoln and this family also has so much love to offer!! I wish i could come visit if i lived closer but im deff there in spirit.
Your "southern" cousin haha,
Taryn
You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Lincoln, you are a special young man. Your courage and strength amaze me every day. I look forward to your continued success and recovery. I hope you know how much you are loved and cared about by those who know you. Keep smiling!! Mrs. Graudons
ReplyDeleteLincoln,
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen you since you were a small child but I've known your Dad his entire life. Your journey is so inspiring to me - you are a brave young man now! I can't imagine the hurt you feel now - maybe confusion and anger too - but there are bright days ahead when you will once again be able to conquer the world.
To your wonderful Mom and Dad I extend my love and support. They are the most amazing parents - so loving, courageous, and heroic.
My Mom recently became an angel and I'm sure she has time to watch over you while you recover. She loves making children feel better. I'll put in a request for you!!
Lincoln, you have an entire community of people wishing for your fast recovery. Can't wait to see you "running" again. What a sight that will be!! Love you all