Where to Begin...So Much to Update!

It’s only been since December...but it really has been YEARS...

Everyone has moved on...no one wants to feed and love this poor little blog....

Except me.

I guess it’s a testament to how healthy Lincoln has been that no one posts here anymore.  The surgery worked, the meds work, I’m working now, the marriage didn’t work....

Did I catch you up on that last one? ....I believe I did.  We tried.  Stress can do horrible things to a body, a person...a marriage.

Lincoln is indeed nineteen now, Eva is seventeen.  I am still 27.  That’s crazy, right?!  Yep, it’s the truth...the kids are catching up... crazy how that happens.

Lincoln currently lives at home and attends a local community college.  He will be transferring to a private four-year college about 45 minutes away in September.  He applied and was accepted.   I should say: WE applied.   He will be majoring in Communications (that was my first major ...before changing it several times and finally graduating with an ART degree...yep...that’s right...me, who can’t even draw stick figures).  He’s ready to move out and move on, and guess what?.....

I’m ready for this transition too!

Of course, I’ll most likely be stressing and crying come August, but presently I am OKAY.

It took a lot of meetings with intake advisors and the Director of Disability Services, and now it’s a go.  I think he’s excited.  Lincoln doesn’t really show excitement, unless a trailer ‘drops’ for a new Marvel or Star Wars movie.  That doesn’t mean he’s not happy - because he’s pretty much happy all the time.  He is the happiest person I know.  He thinks, and I’m pretty sure we all agree, that the part of his brain that registers depression or disappointment was removed.  Or maybe it’s a side effect of the meds he’s on (Lamictal/Lamotrigine).  

Who knows?  Who cares!  This kid is always happy.  Always just content to be where he is, when he is, with whom he’s with -  most ALL THE TIME.  He frequently will say, out of nowhere:   

“Well, I really love my life.”   

Or, 

“Well, my life’s going pretty great.”

Who can be stressed when their kid feels this way - 99.9999999% of the time? 

And I’m delighted to say that Eva’s is swimmingly happy most of the time too.  

And this, Your Honor, is why I gained fifteen pounds in five years.

(I have to blame it on something, right?   Surely it’s not MY fault ;)

I used to be so filled with anxiety. 

All day.  All night.  

All the time.  

Beneath big, fat smiles and through streaming tears.  Man, I was a MESS.  I was thin because I was exercising as much as I could.  Exercise (and a shit load of meds) was the only thing that even touched my anxiety.  Remember when Lincoln was in NYU hospital prior to and for the hemispherectomy (2010)?  He was on the thirteenth floor.  I used to ‘run’ the stairs as much as I could - thirteen flights down, then up, then down and then up again - several times a day.  It helped. It stopped the buzzing in my body.   That’s what the anxiety felt like - a constant buzz - and who can think, or sleep, with that?    

Not I, said the fly.

So I exercised as much as I could.  

And DAMN, I was in shape!

But I’m happy now.  And a bit heavier (like ten pounds heavier). 

 And I am definitely okay with that!

You can follow me on Facebook: @magicdoorways and on Instagram: magic_doorways to see what I’ve been up to since we’ve last talked.  Magic Doorway(s) is the name of the quaint lil shop where I raise money for those affected by epilepsy (and hemispherectomy surgery).  I’m pretty negligent on the site but post to Fb and Instagram pretty regularly.

Peace!

Stef